We are in the midst of the first big storm of the season! I’ve just driven home in a snow as thick as fog with visibility being at best about a block. Outside the city limits that low visibility might be a more common occurrence but it is quite a rarity here in town. The light, fluffy flakes are coming down in a constant stream. The wind is strong and steady. If this keeps up we’re in for a snow day tomorrow! A snow day! Ah, those words delight at any age.
The path I took home was through an historic district that has gaslight-styled streetlights. They have a more diminutive height than their newer runway-model cousins and give off a pinkish light which made the storm feel kind of friendly. The trees lining the street were hard to see but when they did finally come into view it was both stunning and startling to see their dark form stand in complete contrast to the swirling world of white around them.
Walking in from the car there wasn’t a sound to hear. Earlier in the evening it was so cold that the snow creaked and groaned under each footstep. I did not take it as a personal commentary- that below zero snow has a certain sound no matter your weight. Now it’s warmer, relatively, so the crunch has gone.
In Winter the world comes as close to complete silence as it ever will. The quiet found in a hibernating world is exclusive to months of snow. Here the hubbub of activity available during Summer’s long days is a distant memory. The planning and preparation time that is Fall has past and the promise of the new and soft green that is Spring is a still a dream. Winter asks us to set that all that was and all that will be aside and just be.
It is enough to have quiet and calm, to be quiet and calm. Again and again in a world cocooned in white Winter shows us the peace it has to offer. It’s easy enough to get caught up in the frenetic pace of the holidays. It’s tempting to keep up the speed of going and doing but Winter asks us to let go and slow down, even if it has to produce freezing rain to get us do that.
When scraping my car of said freezing rain and/or clearing it of snow it is then that I become re-familiarized with all the car's quirky and unusual crevasses. Design choices that might never be an issue in, say, Texas become common adversaries here in the wintertime. If anyone at Pontiac is interested (and they may just be ready to listen now), I’ve got some opinions about the windshield wiper and wheel well designs that I’d like to share…
On Thursday I drove back down to the Mayo with Mom and Dad for my fourth tri-monthly check up. It’s been a little more than a year since my surgery which is hard to believe. In fact, in transferring dates to the 2009 calendar I found myself stymied at the thought that it has been a year and a half since I first found the lump. A year and a half. Really? I feel like I’ve been in a time machine and now find myself here at the close of 2008 wondering what has happened.
The answer is, of course, a lot. In these months since the completion of treatment integrating what it means to live life post-cancer has left me feeling like a Maple tree in the spring: tapped out. I’m in recovery from a year and a half of life lived outside the lines. Not that I had any idea how it would be in the first place, but it is really different than anything I’ve ever experienced and it’s taking some getting used to.
In these past months I’ve been doing my best to find small ways to restore myself. As much as I and probably the rest of the world dream of winning the lottery in order to take time off the chances of that actually occurring are quite slim, especially when you don’t buy a ticket. Instead, I have built small bits of meditation into my workdays to keep me calm and weekly T’ai Chi classes help keep me centered.
So this Winter I will be turning inward to renew and refuel. I will do less and be more. And as we move further into this season of rest I continue to say thank you, thank you, thank you for just about everything you can imagine. It is by no small miracle that we are all here in this world of quiet together.
Wishing you the peace of the season,
Karen
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5 comments:
Two proud parents are reading this most recent addition to the blog and pleased that Karen has shared herself through this journey with strong convictions and sincere reflections.
In keeping with the season, may all of you who have supported Karen throughout this journey with your concern, care, love, writings, calls, and letters......may all of you and your families celebrate Peace, Hope and Love of the season.
Margaret and John
This is my daughter,this is my beloved daughter. How can a father be more proud of such a perceptive and nature loving daughter? I just marvel at the perspective and detail with which you describe the beautiful natural surroundings that we know as nature. I sense a strong connection to the beauty of nature. This beauty can give us so much strength and inner peace. I think that I finally get "it". You are such a model of what we all should be. Your going forth shows mountains of courage and a strong belief in the positives that make this earth a grand and loving place. As this festive holiday approaches and we all take time to do some soul searching, looking for the peace and assurance that we so much seek,please know that I will always be by your side. Morning, evening, daytime, nighttime,all the time.We walk forward, together. arm in arm, heads held high, hearts filled with love and respect. The march continues and we move forward knowing that love will not diminish and that only good things will come to the most sensitive and determined daughter and her dad. I just love your mojo and I am proud to be part of this wonderful season that we call winter. You go girl, and know that You are never alone, but there is a strong connection and this bond is getting stronger by the day, week, month, and year. You are truly amazing and a whole lot of other things that go into your beautiful personality. Continue to spread the joy and cheer that makes me admire and love you so much. I cannot tell the world enough of how wonderful it is to have a daughter like you. This is only a small part of how blessed that I am to have you as a daughter. With love, I am, Dad.
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Hey, Karen, I just read your beautiful story of December 15th. The words flow so beautifully that I really can feel the wonder and beauty all around me. You have shown that the winter has much to teach us--thanks! I think that your insights are worthy of publication! Be assured that you are giving all of us more than we can give back to you. We are richly blessed to have you! HUGS to wrap around you I offer. Your aunt,
Hey, Karen, I took a pie in the face last Friday at Kindred school for raising the most money for cancer research! We had a competition all week, and my 7th graders especially, dug deep in their pockets to donate and to see me get a pie (banana cream), slapped in my face, in front of the whole school! Well, 2 others also got the same treatment!
I wore my lab coat, safety glasses, and put an extra large latex glove over my hair to keep me somewhat clean, but the 7th grader who got the privilege of tossing the pie made sure she did not miss! Although I could not see through the pie, it tasted delicious, made by our Family Living teacher. I hope to see a picture of me soon, taken by someone in the school.
The kids and faculty raised over $700 for cancer. Just imagine what people will do to defeat that mean bug!!!! I'm thinking of you often, with prayers!!!
Your aunt, Kathy G.
Mmmmmm, banana cream . . . that sounds VERY nummy! And now that the show's over . . . yabba dabba doooo!
K: I'm looking forward to the next installment here. Soon?
Adopt Adapt Adept
Mark
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